| | sometimes i think to myself, "the world we live in is just a big mess". i get discouraged.
i know its a pretty depressing way to start the new year with that thought but i couldn't help it.
there's so much stuff going on right now. gaza/israel (just heard about rockets from lebanon), oakland shooting, washington flood, the economy and so on. might as well not read/watch the news. turn that damn thing off.
i don't know when it was i started to open my eyes to the issues around the world. i vaguely remember seeing on the news the images brought from berlin when the wall fell. i must have been ten or something. i only recall sub-dollar gas prices as a result of the first gulf war. neither didn't really mean much to me. i didn't drive then nor did i know much about the gulf. i do remember the LA riots and the events that led up to that. i was directly effected when the economy turned after the dot-com bubble. not having a job sucked back then. it still does. but its like over the years my sensor for pain near and far just keep maturing. and sometimes i don't like it.
i'd rather not know. but numb to it. maybe that's how i can be happy. be numb to people's pain. but that's not the intention of the Big Guy above. i'm not saying i have an especially keen sense of empathy than others but thru life experience i've had the chance to see it up close. and it sure is ugly.
sometimes it is that ugly face that makes the face of hope evermore beautiful. and i don't want to forget that beauty. how can i? and that is what drives me from turning away from the ugliness of human sin. sometimes pain makes you realize that there's pleasure. knowing the utter depth of sin makes you realize the height his holiness. and makes you want to long for it more. how long?
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| | Posted 1/8/2009 1:15 AM - 53 Views - 4 eProps - 3 comments
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